Thursday, April 20, 2006
Thank you for talking to me so nicely baby.
I hope you'll be good and keep your promises.. I will too, I'll prove it to you the way you requested, not entertaining any guys at all and only being close to girls(:
Everytime I miss him I'll remember the amused smile he'll give whenever I get too.. uh.. suggestive ^^ for my own good and I'll melt inside.
Ahaha yes collect myself in a bottle and place myself in the freezer.
I think I'm gonna be the perfect mother besides ideal wife in future.
Guess what I've been doing every spare minute I have nowadays?
BONDING WITH A MOST PROBABLY NON-EXISTENT FOETUS.
I find it hard to believe myself.
I read it somewhere on an inducing miscarridge website. And no I really don't think I'm gonna be a mom anytime soon or anything like that.
It somewhat gives me peace though. Stroking my tummy, talking to an entity that is my own flesh and blood, that can't judge me.
"Hello Honey... it's Mommy ... I love you but I'm not ready for you ... no it's not Daddy's fault ... "
Yada yada yada. Blab blab blab.
Maybe I need a psychologist. -__-
I know it sounds really insane but I'm not. I just really need someone to talk to.
The doctor was good.
Turns out, the brain and intestines are closely linked. Some believe that there's a brain in the intestines. Whenever the brain experiences extreme emotions, like euphoria, fury, depression.. it affects the intestines, which probably resulted in my nausea, vomitting and lack of appetite.
He asked me about my emotional upheaval, and gave pretty insightful advice.
"Judge a guy by how he treats others. When he is interested he'll treat you like a princess. But you don't know how he is to others. Take a close look at how he behaves when he's being nasty. One day, that nastiness might be directed to you. "
"If he really loves you, he'll forgive, forget and adjust. You're very young. That's why you feel so strongly about this. You tend to think he's the one. But when one door closes, another opens. Maybe you'll feel terrible now. But when you're older you might feel that it's just so silly. Go out, have fun. Meet more people."
If I don't get better in two days, I'll have to go back.
Anti-depressants needed maybe.
I'm feeling okay now though. Hope it lasts.
I hope you'll be good and keep your promises.. I will too, I'll prove it to you the way you requested, not entertaining any guys at all and only being close to girls(:
Everytime I miss him I'll remember the amused smile he'll give whenever I get too.. uh.. suggestive ^^ for my own good and I'll melt inside.
Ahaha yes collect myself in a bottle and place myself in the freezer.
I think I'm gonna be the perfect mother besides ideal wife in future.
Guess what I've been doing every spare minute I have nowadays?
BONDING WITH A MOST PROBABLY NON-EXISTENT FOETUS.
I find it hard to believe myself.
I read it somewhere on an inducing miscarridge website. And no I really don't think I'm gonna be a mom anytime soon or anything like that.
It somewhat gives me peace though. Stroking my tummy, talking to an entity that is my own flesh and blood, that can't judge me.
"Hello Honey... it's Mommy ... I love you but I'm not ready for you ... no it's not Daddy's fault ... "
Yada yada yada. Blab blab blab.
Maybe I need a psychologist. -__-
I know it sounds really insane but I'm not. I just really need someone to talk to.
The doctor was good.
Turns out, the brain and intestines are closely linked. Some believe that there's a brain in the intestines. Whenever the brain experiences extreme emotions, like euphoria, fury, depression.. it affects the intestines, which probably resulted in my nausea, vomitting and lack of appetite.
He asked me about my emotional upheaval, and gave pretty insightful advice.
"Judge a guy by how he treats others. When he is interested he'll treat you like a princess. But you don't know how he is to others. Take a close look at how he behaves when he's being nasty. One day, that nastiness might be directed to you. "
"If he really loves you, he'll forgive, forget and adjust. You're very young. That's why you feel so strongly about this. You tend to think he's the one. But when one door closes, another opens. Maybe you'll feel terrible now. But when you're older you might feel that it's just so silly. Go out, have fun. Meet more people."
If I don't get better in two days, I'll have to go back.
Anti-depressants needed maybe.
I'm feeling okay now though. Hope it lasts.
joviee's musings at 10:28:00 PM
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