love isn't a game sam.

you tell me this is the price i'm paying for not picking up your calls, or calling you back yesterday. people in love have disagreements. fights. cold wars. but they don't punish their loved ones by finding another partner.

it's too extreme.. and it's irreversible.

both of us, we're not like vic and mengwee. not better, just different.

i think i'm a very forgiving person when it comes to the people i love, but infidelity is too harsh for me to take.

i won't ever be able to look at you, hear your voice or touch you without picturing you with the somebody else.

whether physical or emotional.
whether you really felt for her, or you just wanted to spite me like you said.

i'm weary. i can't manage any intense emotions except for the tears of hurt and sorrow in my eyes.

i have no energy to play mind games.
i take whatever you say at face value.
say what you mean, and mean what you say.

if you love me like you said you do, you will never be able to bring yourself to be with another person.

you wouldn't do something you know there's no turning back from.

i already can't believe that you still love me from the way you talk to me. the lack of calls and texts, the way you never seem to want to talk or meet me.

why then, do you tell me that you do?

if you really have a change of heart.. it wouldn't happen just because i incurred your wrath.
it would be a long term thing, one that started long ago.

which means that you've been lying to me all along.

i don't know.

i can do nothing now.

you've changed your friendster profile.

what does it mean?
what are you talking about?

if you've really fallen for someone new.. i can do nothing but to wish you happiness.
there is no use in me hating you for breaking your promises and lying to me.
as much as it pains me to say this, i hope she brings you love and joy.

i will have to force myself to move on.

if you're going to get a girlfriend to spite me.. don't.
you'll hurt the girl, and yourself in the process.
and because you actually care enough to do it, don't deny that you don't love me anymore.

if it's torment and agony you want me in..
you don't need a girlfriend to do it.
you already reduce me to tears with your words.

i want to ask you now.
demand answers.
what are you really doing?
have you really had a change of heart?

but it's too early to say anything now.

there'll be new girls you'll get to know very soon.

maybe, looking for love, without the reminder that you've a girlfriend or promises with someone who loves you, you'll feel yourself attracted to one of them.

i tremble at the very thought.
i lose my appetite.

i've a nightmare about you and the malaysian girl yesterday.

that got me wondering.. it's been a week since i've met you. and maybe two or three since i've been over to your place.

what logs have i not see? who have you been texting? who have you been calling?

i've never questioned you about this for a long time.

maybe you're right.

you could have fallen in love with another girl without me knowing..
and you just lie that you love me cos you want me to stop bugging you.. or you just don't want to see me with someone else even though you don't love me anymore.

but what kind of love did we share if all these little details bother us so much?

in life we'll always meet new people.
it's your turn this year.
my turn the next.

when we enter the work force there'll be even more people we'll come across.

other couples don't worry that.. hey my guy's going to a new school today. who will he meet.. will he fall in love with a girl and forget me?

they know that they can't be replaced.

why do i not have this feeling of security, even when we were together?

and if he is unable to tell me with convicion that he'll still love me despite the new students,
just how weak is the love, really?

he'll only continue loving me because there is no girl who attracted him in his school?

what is this..

sigh.

i wish we could just have a heart to heart talk, make everything clear..