I know you're reading this.


I stand by what I said. It's up to you to bisect whatever I said into bits and pieces and find ways to put me down.

As long as it makes you happy, it doesn't really matter anymore.


Yes,
It will hurt me terribly if I one day know you've fallen in love with someone new. Whether you do change your mind and have another girlfriend is secondary. What matters is that your heart, your soul, your body, little Sammie, everything won't belong to me anymore.

But it cuts me deeper to think of you torturing yourself.
It pains me to see you less than happy.

I don't know what caused it.

School? Money?
Another girl? Sigh.. It's hard for me to think about that.

But I don't want to be a factor your stress and unhappiness anymore.


You're a free man now Sam.

No more promises to me. No more reserving yourself for me.

This is what you wanted, and what I selfishly denied you.

All I wanted was for you to want and love me. For you to care..
I meant no harm, I only wanted to love you with everything I have.

It was a mistake.

My holding on didn't cause you joy.

It was something unwanted. Forced upon you.

I'm sorry.


This is not guilt like you think.

You were the one who didn't want me. You chose to cancel your promises of love and faithfulness. How many times did you tell me, do what you like, Jovina. I don't care anymore?

I loved you like I said I would. You? You fell out of love with me.

Every harsh word or action cut me like a knife.

Until now I still wonder what was in the mail you sent H. What you've done with her. Whether you've cheated on me.

But I kept it all inside.


Losing you will kill me. But losing me might just be your resurrection.

Please, be happy and look after yourself.


For the last time...

I love you Samuel Darling.

Always will.

Take care of yourself for me baby.

Please..