I am so useless.

I thought everything was getting better, on the road to recovery from my constant vomitting and my attachment to him.

Everything was fine today.

Except for the barffing of my breakfast and dinner.

And the nightmare about him my mom woke me up from.


Immersed myself in my books until 10 minutes ago..

Then a panic attack and I lost it all.

I can pretend to be as cynical, jaded, hard-as-stone as I was, but so much just to save the already burnt-out wounds of my pride?


Reduced to a laughable, whimpering wreck of tears.

And the worst thing is, he's being so cold, he doesn't miss me at all..

Then look at me!


Disgraceful. Weak.

Pathetic. I can't think of a better word.