Thursday, April 20, 2006
Home sweet home.
Thought I was getting better but the same thing happened.
One MINISCULE piece of chicken and...
The extent of how weak I was? I couldn't even raise my hand for more than 20 secs to flag a cab ):
I realised though, that my physical state affects my emotions most effectively.
While I was feeling unwell my thoughts tended towards dark and gloomy.
"Is this just an excuse to end it all with me? Am I the only deluded one who doesn't see it?"
I feel miserable not talking to him. I feel even more miserable arguing with him all the time.
So whether we do communicate or not there isn't much of a difference.
I don't feel the slightest indication of joy at all, and I don't see a way of turning the situation around.
Throw in the nausea and tada! The perfect reasons to end this pathetic excuse of a life.
It's really ironic though.
Okay, I admit I'm actually growing quite fond of my life.
If I don't do anything foolish it might probably be because I know that though right now it doesn't seem like it will ever go away, in time it too, will pass, and I'll regret throwing everything away.
The bigger factor though, is that I fear never seeing him again if I never open my eyes again.
Now that I'm feeling better, I'm looking at things in a more positive light.
Perhaps this temporary hiatus will do us good.
Allow us time to rediscover ourselves and re-examine our priorities, heal, and fall in love all over again.
We were doing this the wrong way. I clung on desperately to the notion of who he was, and he couldn't stomach the person that I now am.
I think it's crucial for us to fully grasp the idea that we've both changed, for the better or worst, because of each other's idiosyncrasies in the past 3 months, and work together on the art of acceptance.
We deserve another chance at this.
Recently changed upon two guys I was previously.. more than a little interested in. I remember thinking at the start of our relationship, that I would choose either one of them over him.
But now.. even though they appear more eligible, more desirable in various ways, I'll still choose him. Even knowing there are people who are better-off in some ways out there, he's still my pick, my choice.
What is this if not the beautiful thing they call Love?
Plans with the girlfriends this weekend. No guys. Anticipating it, hope the body will be good and not let me down (:
Thought I was getting better but the same thing happened.
One MINISCULE piece of chicken and...
The extent of how weak I was? I couldn't even raise my hand for more than 20 secs to flag a cab ):
I realised though, that my physical state affects my emotions most effectively.
While I was feeling unwell my thoughts tended towards dark and gloomy.
"Is this just an excuse to end it all with me? Am I the only deluded one who doesn't see it?"
I feel miserable not talking to him. I feel even more miserable arguing with him all the time.
So whether we do communicate or not there isn't much of a difference.
I don't feel the slightest indication of joy at all, and I don't see a way of turning the situation around.
Throw in the nausea and tada! The perfect reasons to end this pathetic excuse of a life.
It's really ironic though.
Okay, I admit I'm actually growing quite fond of my life.
If I don't do anything foolish it might probably be because I know that though right now it doesn't seem like it will ever go away, in time it too, will pass, and I'll regret throwing everything away.
The bigger factor though, is that I fear never seeing him again if I never open my eyes again.
Now that I'm feeling better, I'm looking at things in a more positive light.
Perhaps this temporary hiatus will do us good.
Allow us time to rediscover ourselves and re-examine our priorities, heal, and fall in love all over again.
We were doing this the wrong way. I clung on desperately to the notion of who he was, and he couldn't stomach the person that I now am.
I think it's crucial for us to fully grasp the idea that we've both changed, for the better or worst, because of each other's idiosyncrasies in the past 3 months, and work together on the art of acceptance.
We deserve another chance at this.
Recently changed upon two guys I was previously.. more than a little interested in. I remember thinking at the start of our relationship, that I would choose either one of them over him.
But now.. even though they appear more eligible, more desirable in various ways, I'll still choose him. Even knowing there are people who are better-off in some ways out there, he's still my pick, my choice.
What is this if not the beautiful thing they call Love?
Plans with the girlfriends this weekend. No guys. Anticipating it, hope the body will be good and not let me down (:
joviee's musings at 10:11:00 AM
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