am i living on for myself, or for the people who loves me?

i really am tired..

i really do not know..


spring cleaning of the room resulted in the re-appearances of two, very different sets of letters.

one, from myself to the one i loved, whom until now i have no idea ever felt the same or not, from late september last year to january, maybe even feb of this year.

another, from someone who loved me, from early january.. until late march.. hopefully april.. and with even more hope but i cannot make myself believe it.. this very moment.


i saw his profile today.

i have no idea whether i am the one mentioned, but i cannot help the guilt that aroused from it.

daniel, daniel, was i wrong in moving on?

you told me to do so. with not little pain, i felt.

am i paying for forsaking you. having the one i chose forsake me now.

i could blame you for not giving me any reason to hold on.

i could curse you for not speaking your mind, if you're now referring to me.

perhaps, now, i wouldn't be suffering like you are.

the buying your shoulder joke was my territory. so were the dimples. did i tell you then, that i loved your dimples?

are these the reasons why they're in your shoutout now?


baby.. baby.. can i still call you that?

are you still my own?

will you shun me like i did you? hurt me like i hurt you?

everything you said i am feeling it now.

i love you. do not ever leave. what in life would i have if you're gone? you're my pillar of strength. you're what keeps me going.

have all this now become meaningless to you?

all your promises turn to naught?

you don't have to tell me, because you've shown me clearly.

i know.


how can i blame him for breaking everything he said?

if he one day tear, rip apart my love notes in front of another girl he loved like he once did for me?

after all, i allowed him, although in tears, to burn away a picture of myself and the one i loved.. the sweetest gift everyone thought it was.

i too, relinquished the responsibility of love towards another.


is this what they call karma..

is this what i'm paying for now?